they say that you have to live everyday like it was your last.

well,as much as i want to live my life that way,i am too afraid because there so many things that i want to do and to do it all in a day is just madness.

these days i'm living my life like a loser with no social life. but then,come to think of it,i'm kinda like insulting the losers out there.
basically i'm a confused wreck!i dont know what i want in life and that scares the shit out of me.
if i could go out there and get myself some clue as to what to do with life i guess i would be the first in line like how i was when i went to get the tuky tuky.
i don't know why i even bothered cause usually i'm not the one to do such things.
you know to queue and at that to be first in line.
unbelievable!!
i'm sure this is because i have nothing more productive to do.
its either i do such things or i sit at home,read a book or watch a ridiculous number of movies in a day.

this is what happens when you live your social life with no expectations because in the end there will be nothing to expect at all.(i am contradicting myself a little.)

*hazard*
i'm a bad specimen of humanity. so ok.
if you are a frequent reader of my blog, you will know that i don't really write about how i feel or things of that sort.my entries are usually about events that took place and all.

so now i'm going to blog about how i feel.

this year has been somewhat a roller-coaster, emotionally, i have been hurt quite badly this year.i mean,i guess i should be blamed for allowing myself to be hurt.and plus the guy is either stupid or just a jerk.but i believe he's both!!

i got to know him early this year.so i was all excited cause he seemed different.i can't believe i'm saying this but it felt like he was real.the way he treated me,this made me really like him.we went out a couple of times and all seemed well.it seems as if he was into me,as much as i was into him.and certain things that he did made,not just me but people whom i tell things to,feel that he was into me.and i was really excited.who could blame a girl,right?!i mean if you were me and something like that were to happen to you,i'm sure you would be on cloud nine.imagine that this is someone you really really like after a long time.

then things didn't turn out as i thought it would.it ended really abruptly,with him telling me indirectly that he wasn't really into me,he was just being friendly.he wanted to pursue the friendship but i just could not allow myself to be around someone who is so oblivious to the fact that it wasn't just friendship but there was actually more involved,at least on my part.

this took place months ago.it happened within a short period of 2 months.i got to know him,liked him and then hated him in this short period of time.but now i don't hate him anymore.i guess i should thank him in a way,because he taught me to not trust people easily.so,for that,i thank you.

to be exact,all of this took place 5 months ago and i didn't really want people to know,that is until now.after all this happened,i realised who are the people who actually care about what happens to me and i would like to thank all of you,who were there for me when the stupid jerk did what he did.and yeah,i always told myself when i was younger that would never cry for a guy,well that can never happen. even for guys,i mean when you really really like someone and that person just disappoints or hurts you in any way,if you don't cry,you're just inhuman.