oh well.

a lot has happened since i last updated and i feel crappy these days.my excitements and happiness are all shortlived.i get so angry and pissed that i can't even shout and all i end up doing is cry.

i've realised though,that crying and shouting are not worth it because it doesn't make a difference.the only question is have is "how about you understand where i'm coming from with this reaction??" i've said so many times that you can do anything you want and i won't be there to stop you,because i don't do that.still,you never fail to make me feel like i tie you up and make you ask me for permission for every single thing or action you want to do!!!i cannot remember a time when i've stopped you from doing anything that you wish to do.naturally,i have my objections but i've never said "don't do it or else,i'll never speak to you again." or "you do it,and never call me again."

sometimes i feel like everything is my fault and i'm not allowed to have a reaction because you will be unhappy about the way i might react to whatever it is....i don't know but maybe its true.i am a burden to you.since you feel that i obstruct you from doing things that you want to do and somehow when i do express my concerns and feelings,you,almost,always make me feel like they are ridiculous.i believe that nobody likes to know like their feelings and concerns are irrational and doesn't need to be attended to because it would such a waste of precious time.

i've done my reflection and i'm still very much at a lost.i know that i tend to overeact and make a mountain out of a mole hill.my mistake.now i try my very best to calm down and think before i react but it doesn't help when i end up feeling that i'm not allowed a reaction to things that upset me.especially if they were done by you.